Unemployed? Wait, what?!

Published: 1/7/24

I would say it was June or July of 2022, my dad started working from home more. Eventually he began working from home every day. He would take calls and manage projects virtually but never went to a jobsite. Seems normal for a person about to retire, right? Yeah, I thought so too. I didn't think anything of it.

I think it was November of 2022 when my mom noticed my dad didn't get paid. She asked him about it and he said, " I got laid off. I'm just kidding. I got laid off." He said all of this with a huge smile on his face so it appeared as if it was a joke. My mom and sister were in shock. "How long ago did you get laid off?" my mom asked.

His face turned red, as if he was embarrassed but he just sat there smiling.

She called his employer who confirmed that they had laid him off a month or so ago because they noticed he wasn't able to recall details about his job and his projects were falling behind.

Complete and utter shock. No one knew. Did he not remember? How did this happen? How did he not remember? What the hell.

Sharing some shame on my thoughts here so be kind- I knew his memory was slipping but I didn't know to what degree or that it was dementia. I remember telling someone that he was "losing his mind", understatement of the year... I also remember telling someone, " karmas a bitch. After everything he's put my mom through, karma caught up. I'm not surprised he's losing his mind." As I recall the words I spoke last year, I cringe. I didn't know it was this. I didn't know it was going to get worse. I thought it was just little details. I've harbored quite a bit of anger and resentment towards my dad for mistakes he's made. I haven't been able to let some of it go. At the time, I don't remember feeling angry. Looking back and replaying that conversation in my head about karma, I realized just how angry I was. I cringe. I'd give almostanything (not my kids) in this world for it to not be dementia, including my own life. I mean that wholeheartedly.

I wish I could take it back.

I freaking wish like hell I could take it back. Maybe this is my "karma".